Why I am running a marathon...

For those of you who know me well, you know I'm a thinker.  Sometimes to a fault.  I think about the  pros and cons of a situation or decision... think about different perspectives... think about what I think about things, why I think about things... sometimes I think too much.  That may be one of the reasons why I've taken to running.  Once I get past thinking about my breathing and how crappy I feel (usually the first mile of a run), I find running affords this introvert a wonderful opportunity to think.  As I make my plan to run my first marathon public, rest assured I have given this a great deal of thought, planning and even have some training under my belt.  

So why am I running a marathon?  I've thought about this quite a bit (ha!), and find that the short answer is "because I can."  Please know  I don't mean that in a cocky way at all. But I can because I have been blessed with many things that allow me the opportunity to do this.  I can because I have work that pays me enough and allows me a few extra funds to pay for race entry fees (for the marathon and numerous other races that helped me build up to the marathon), some good running shoes, a marathon training clinic and even a periodic splurge to buy some nice gear so I feel like a runner.  I can because I have an amazingly supportive family and friends who cheer me on.  I can because I am generally in good health which allows me to get up and go.  So I can.

When I run and am feeling sluggish or start to doubt myself, I think about what I can do (like run) compared to things I can't do, like have one more two-way conversation with my mom. I think of friends and other family members who have died and the rest of us who can't have that one last call, can't have that one last conversation or can't get one more hug.  But then I think about the time I did have with my mom at the end of her life here on earth, and I feel blessed.  I'm so thankful for the hospice nurses, chaplain, and volunteers who supported us as we supported mom, and gave us the encouragement, tools and guidance to make those last weeks with her all they could be.  There are countless hospice nurses, staff, chaplains and volunteers all over the country who give family members and friends those opportunities with their loved ones.  And thanks to amazing leaders like Anita Buel, there is a Deaf Hospice Program in Minnesota that coordinates and provides services for people who communicate using American Sign Language, so they may have those positive experiences too and not have to worry about communication and understanding what is going on. 

I can't make one more call to my mom.  And I'll be honest - when I hear people complain about how irritating their mothers are, it's all I can do to bite my tongue and not say I'd give most anything to have my mom irritate me one more time.  But I can control my tongue (most days!); I can run, and I can raise money for the hospice programs that are near and dear to my heart. 

Paula